Having To Show "Tough Love" For Her Own Good
Assuredly, you would rather receive “good news” over “bad news. Believe me… I’d rather write you with only the “good news”, the successes, and the victories. But, that would be a skewed report, not a true picture of our missionary life. Recently, we had to ask Isabel to leave our house. The first few months were good; it seemed as though things were going to work-out with the addition of a 19 year-old and her 3 year-old son to our family. It was a joy to see Isabel reunited with her brothers and sisters for the first time since she began the gang-life as a 13-year-old. Five years of prison robbed her of seeing her siblings grow, robbed her of being with her mother during her death and the healing time with family, thereafter. But, we experienced true joy together with Isabel and Jonathan. Through the years she encouraged us as we visited her in prison, and what joy to have her in our home upon her release. Joy was multiplied as Isabel and Jonathan joined our family devotion time before bed and as we went as a family to our regular church services. She told me that she wanted to continue her education, so I enrolled her into a school. She said that she could crochet 2 hand-bags a day and would like to earn an income with this skill, so I bought her an ample supply of the string that she needed and I lined-up venues through which she could sell everything she could make. However, she put forth little or no effort toward school or to her work.
The last several months were quite challenging as she began to go out at nights with friends without communicating with us and not returning until the next day (and on 2 occasions for several days). She stopped going to church with us. She broke trust as she began to lie to us and began to rob from us and her siblings. The joy that she had brought as she was in prison and during those 1st few months in our own home was turned to disappointment, frustration, and pain. Oh, we tried talking with her; we tried a probationary period, but there were no changes. Her 4 siblings (our foster kids), Kim and I really wanted to see a change for the positive with Isabel and for everything to work-out like it did the first several months with us. Toward the end of her stay with us it appeared as though she was using drugs, although she was a master at keeping this from us. So, finally, we had to ask Isabel to leave, so with many tears from us all… Isabel and her 3 year-old son, Jonathan, left to live with someone else. She left threatening us with evil promises and slanderous words.
So, there I told you… a newsletter that includes “bad news”. And, as I pondered how I would give this report, I considered the Bible, which is a type of “newsletter” from God to us. I considered all the “failures”, all the “bad”, all the “disappointments” that God included in His newsletter to us. I realized 2 things: 1) God is patient and is not finished with Isabel nor with little Jonathan, and 2) I realized that Isabel’s brothers and sisters on the back stage of this drama and are learning great lessons, as are me and Kim, and everyone else looking on this situation. We all have witnessed God’s provisions, forgiveness, His love, grace, and mercy balanced with his justice and intolerance. This challenges me to walk close to our good God. And, may we all be challenged to be one with His purposes, and let us be obedient to His plans for us.
Your brother in Christ,
Rick Beck
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