When Youth "At Risk" Puts You At Risk

“Winning-Over” The Tough Ones

Kim and Waldina, one of our volunteers, walked into a “hornet’s nest” about a month ago at the juvenile girls’ prison. I was with another volunteer on the side where the juvenile male offenders are. As Kim & Waldina began their Bible study, Estefani and Paula, the 2 older teens in the group of nearly 30 girls, began to act-up. They eventually struck one of the well behaved girls with a blow to the face and Astre began to bleed. Kim tried to maintain control of the group to the benefit of the girls wanting the Bible study. Kim asked the guards to lock-up the 2 rebellious girls, to which they replied that they could do nothing. Now, Estefani is a 17 year-old black youth who towers over the shorter Latina girls, and is bigger than Kim. She climbed to the roof of one of the buildings where she found a broken glass bottle. Back on the ground she began to threaten Kim and the other girls. What do the guards do? They lock-up Kim, Waldina, and the well behaved girls. Go figure. After some time Estefani and Paula settled down enough so that the guards could let Kim and Waldina out from locked doors and the guards escorted them off of the premises to safety.

The weeks that followed lead Kim through a series of mental and emotional circles… from not wanting to ever go back, to wanting to speak to the authorities about the incompetence of the system. But, eventually we discerned God’s Spirit prompting us to return evil with good. Kim and I had planned a trip, which happened to be near the town from where Estefani came. We told Estefani that we’d like to call and meet with her family and maybe take or bring back any items that they wished to exchange. Estefani was dumbfounded as we offered “kindness” to her. The Sunday before our travel she gave us a small crotchet purse with several letters for her grandmother. So, during our stay near Estefani’s home town we called her grandmother. We met her; she was a tall, Garifuna woman. She looked African and her English Caribbean dialect was very distinct. We delivered the small purse; her grandmother visited with us a while and then she gave us a grocery sack of clothes, family photos, and letters for us to deliver to her granddaughter.

Kim, who hadn’t returned to the prison since the incident, personally handed the care-package to Estefani, the first correspondence that she has had with her family in 2 years. This act of kindness was in drastic contrast to their hostile encounter a month earlier. Kim “won her over” with kindness. They embraced and visited; Paula, too, through tears asked Kim to forgive her. I’m sure that Kim and Waldina were prepared a month earlier to teach a great Bible study. But what transpired over the month’s time reminds us that many times in youth ministry… more is “caught” than “taught”.

Rick Beck

One Of Our Favorite Youth Misbehaving

Having To Show "Tough Love" For Her Own Good

Assuredly, you would rather receive “good news” over “bad news. Believe me… I’d rather write you with only the “good news”, the successes, and the victories. But, that would be a skewed report, not a true picture of our missionary life. Recently, we had to ask Isabel to leave our house. The first few months were good; it seemed as though things were going to work-out with the addition of a 19 year-old and her 3 year-old son to our family. It was a joy to see Isabel reunited with her brothers and sisters for the first time since she began the gang-life as a 13-year-old. Five years of prison robbed her of seeing her siblings grow, robbed her of being with her mother during her death and the healing time with family, thereafter. But, we experienced true joy together with Isabel and Jonathan. Through the years she encouraged us as we visited her in prison, and what joy to have her in our home upon her release. Joy was multiplied as Isabel and Jonathan joined our family devotion time before bed and as we went as a family to our regular church services. She told me that she wanted to continue her education, so I enrolled her into a school. She said that she could crochet 2 hand-bags a day and would like to earn an income with this skill, so I bought her an ample supply of the string that she needed and I lined-up venues through which she could sell everything she could make. However, she put forth little or no effort toward school or to her work.

The last several months were quite challenging as she began to go out at nights with friends without communicating with us and not returning until the next day (and on 2 occasions for several days). She stopped going to church with us. She broke trust as she began to lie to us and began to rob from us and her siblings. The joy that she had brought as she was in prison and during those 1^st few months in our own home was turned to disappointment, frustration, and pain. Oh, we tried talking with her; we tried a probationary period, but there were no changes. Her 4 siblings (our foster kids), Kim and I really wanted to see a change for the positive with Isabel and for everything to work-out like it did the first several months with us. Toward the end of her stay with us it appeared as though she was using drugs, although she was a master at keeping this from us. So, finally, we had to ask Isabel to leave, so with many tears from us all… Isabel and her 3 year-old son, Jonathan, left to live with someone else. She left threatening us with evil promises and slanderous words.

So, there I told you… a newsletter that includes “bad news”. And, as I pondered how I would give this report, I considered the Bible, which is a type of “newsletter” from God to us. I considered all the “failures”, all the “bad”, all the “disappointments” that God included in His newsletter to us. I realized 2 things: 1) God is patient and is not finished with Isabel nor with little Jonathan, and 2) I realized that Isabel’s brothers and sisters on the back stage of this drama and are learning great lessons, as are me and Kim, and everyone else looking on this situation. We all have witnessed God’s provisions, forgiveness, His love, grace, and mercy balanced with his justice and intolerance. This challenges me to walk close to our good God. And, may we all be challenged to be one with His purposes, and let us be obedient to His plans for us.

Your brother in Christ,
Rick Beck